im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
