Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
