Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
