You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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