Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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