She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
