M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I forgot how hot balto sounded
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
