I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
