I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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