dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
