Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
