don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I see more hoeing in ur future
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
