Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
