I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
