Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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