just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You dont lie about slip and slides
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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