I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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