i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
