roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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