? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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