We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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