Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
should my penis look like a turkey
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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