is your mom at the bar?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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