Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
