just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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