we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I need moral support for this bender
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
