Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
