is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
