someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
