listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
