Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
