hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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