I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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