This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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