just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
