i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
