Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
