Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
