do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
