It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
