He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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