What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
