We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My first STD was from a foam party
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
