textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
