maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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