He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
