Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
