nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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