In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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