Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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