So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize