so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
